Getting My Laugh On

Is it just me, or does anyone else feel like the 2012 election season has been going on F-O-R-E-V-E-R? Hard to believe there are still three months before we can rock the vote. I hope my bullshit-meter can hold out that long.

I know this sounds whiney, but it’s just not fun anymore. The loss of candidates like Herman “Uzbeki-beki-beki-stan-stan” Cain and Rick “What’s-the-Third-Thing” Perry has made the entire presidential election seem less like a circus stop in Crazytown and more, well … dire.

Whenever the rhetoric and mudslinging make me search for something stabby upon which to impale myself, I turn to my favorite web sites and find solace in humor.

For today’s Wild & Woolly Web Wednesday post, I present some gems from the best make-the-world-go-away sites out there.

1. The End-of-Sexual-Harassment celebration cake from Cake Wrecks, the site that brings the best (or worse, depending on your perspective) in professional cake disasters.

I’m guessing the cake is flavored with vanilla and unemployment. Be sure to check out ‘The Classics’ section for further chuckles from this awesome site. Naked mohawk-baby carrot jockeys for the win!

2. The Lost-in-Translation signs at Engrish.com are sure to find you "happy for abundant to make."

As long as you do it carefully, I guess …

Browse the ‘Most Popular’ section for the top-rated failed translations. For a real treat, check out Adult Engrish (If you’re over 18. And you have a strong stomach.).

3. The spell-checkingest failures around can be found at Damn You, Autocorrect.

In writing circles, this is what's known as metaphor FAIL. It’s further evidence that poets and texts don’t mix (as if we needed proof).

It was really difficult to pick my favorites from this site. So many are made of win.

I totally want to go drinking (and dwarfing) with these girls. I’ll Be Dopey. Who’s with me?

4. Finally, you don’t have to be in publishing to appreciate the beauty of SlushPile Hell, where an anonymous literary agent takes snippets from some truly awful query letters and responds with snarkalicious quips.

I urge you to visit any and all of these sites whenever you need a laugh. They're all enormous time sucks, but I like to consider it “research” into human nature. Or something.

What web sites tickle YOUR funny bone?

Freaky Friday - Twilight, Kardashians, and Other News from the Land of Odd

It's Friday, and you know what that means!

You don't?

Oh, right ... because I haven't told you my Brilliant Blogging plan. See, when I decided to blog regularly, I realized something startling: I'm boring. My life is dull. Snooze-worthy. I'm putting myself to sleep writing this, in fact.

So I did what I always do when I have a problem. I made a list! Wheeee! (Told you I was boring.)

Spontaneity is overrated (and really hard to spell). If you know about my issues with prime numbers then you'll know how much I enjoy orderliness. And how badly I need therapy.

Anyhoo ... I thought I'd try to structure my blog using the following topics:

• Movie-star Mondays - Actors we love and the shows in which we adore them.
• I'm-a-Tool Tuesdays - The craft of writing/the business of publishing.
• Wild and Woolly Web Wednesdays - Featuring wonderful web sites.
• Thumpin' Thursdays - All things music. But I'll try not to get too street, yo.
• Freaky Fridays - Anything weird, funny, or funky.

I don't know about you, but I'm totally jazzed about this. I think it's the alliteration. Does it to me every time. That said ...

It's Friday, and you know what that means! Time to get our freak on! Allow me to tickle your funny bone and then possibly make you vomit.

Today's snort-fest was brought to my attention by the lovely Rebecca, whom I adore (and not just because she pimped my Facebook "Author" page and brought me lots of new Likes). But also because she knows quality writing when see reads it. Obviously.

Here is an Honest Movie Trailer for the wonderfully mockable Twilight:

"The romance of a lifetime ... expressed entirely in stares." These people are brilliant. I snorted my tea at the ketchup comment. And the cast of characters.

Speaking of things that become enormously popular despite a suspicious absence of talent ...

The Jenner sisters (from 'Kardashians' fame) are writing a novel. Yay! Because it's totally easy to write a book and like, every 14-year old should totally do it. The good news? They haven't even finished, and it already has a publisher. That's right, an imprint of Simon & Schuster will publish the as-yet-untitled book next summer. The better news? According to E!, it "could be the first in a possible series."

In other news ... a piece of my writer's soul just died.

Hope y'all have a fabulous Friday and a wicked-cool weekend.