My sister, whom I love dearly, said to me the other day, “Your book was hilarious, Dani, but I have a question about your writing. In all seriousness—”
Let me stop right there to cue the alarm bells:
Baroooomba! Baroooomba! DANGER, WILL ROBINSON! DANGER!!
Okay, let’s continue.
“—In all seriousness, why aren’t you ever that funny in person?”
The simple answer is I don’t have a week to script clever responses to everyday conversations. The longer answer is I just happened to have a witty character wander into my head and whisper her story against my subconscious — Kate’s the funny one, not me.
Of course, I gave my sister neither of those answers, preferring the simpler, time-honored reply of “Screw you, bee-yotch.” Then we laughed and laughed and laughed.
Still, the conversation made me realize how long it’s been since I’ve posted to this blog. The reason for my absence (read: excuse) is I just haven’t felt very entertaining lately. I was distracted by the election and other nonsense, and I didn’t want to turn this blog into an attack on anyone’s political or religious views. That’s what my Facebook is for. This blog was supposed to be light-hearted and fun, a place to come for a quick chuckle.
But we haven’t had much to chuckle about lately, have we? Between a devastating hurricane and the horrific tragedy in Connecticut, it feels wrong to laugh — disrespectful, somehow, to smile when so many have lost so much. And yet for some people, laughter may be the only refuge from grief.
Even without this most recent act of senseless violence (which is a stupid phrase, btw — is there violence that actually makes sense?), the holidays can be hard. The Ghosts of Loved Ones Past call often and, as often as not, unexpectedly — there’s no telling what random sight or song or smell will trigger the sort of memory that makes you break down in the middle of the grocery store aisle.
So if you’re anything like me, and you just need a little break from ALL THE FEELINGS, I’m here to tell you it’s okay. You’re not dishonoring anyone’s memory by allowing yourself to be happy for a little while. You’re not a bad person. You’re just human.
When you feel you’re ready, check out these sites:
The Hater’s Guide to the Williams-Sonoma Catalog
From $72 biscuits to an acorn-shaped twine holder, Drew Magary peruses the Williams-Sonoma catalog with hilariously snarky results. The fruitcake was my absolute favorite.
You have to love a tumblr with the tag line “He will build you a table and then have sex with you on it. Doesn’t get much hotter than that.” This very funny page features flannel-clad cuties with handy translations of what they’re really thinking. Stand aside, Harlequin Romance cover model — my LL Bean Boyfriend has a planer, and he’s not afraid to use it!
The Snark Squad: Ruined For Life
Having written a few books, I have an inkling of the tremendous amount of hard work and effort required to take a story from concept to novel (or at least the amount that SHOULD go into it). It’s mean and unprofessional and totally uncool for me to mock the subpar writing of EL James and the train wreck that is the Fifty Shades “series.” Luckily, the Snark Squad is there to do it for me! Lorraine and company will have you rolling with laughter and seriously questioning the sanctity of the New York Times Bestseller list.
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Happy holidays to all. May peace and love surround you.
Love,
Dani